Winging It
by Bexiekun
Summary: After addressing the people of Spira, Yuna is left feeling lost and confused. She had been expecting to die - so what is she supposed to do now that she has a whole life to live?


"_Just... one more thing!" Yuna called, waiting for the crowd's cheers to die down. "The people and the friends that we have lost... and the dreams that have faded..." she paused, staring up towards the sky, images of Tidus flashing through her mind as she gave a sad smile. "Never forget them."_

Yuna sat in the Blitzball locker rooms after giving her speech to the people of Spira. She had politely requested to be left alone, and her guardians had understood, leaving her to herself. Kimahri was standing guard outside to the door, to turn away anyone who tried to come and see her. Yuna knew that there would be many people who wanted to greet her, shake her hand, tell her how thankful they were – something they had never been able to do with previous High Summoners. And she would be happy to do so, just... not yet. She needed a little time to get her head in order.

What was she supposed to do now? She had told the people in her speech that they could now build a new world, new lives – but she didn't know how to do that for herself. She had never planned for this. She had been preparing to die. And now, she was alive – and feeling completely and utterly lost.

Yuna sighed, cradling her head in her hands. What was she going to do? All she had ever known was that she was going to be a Summoner, and she had spent years preparing herself for her fate. And now, it hadn't happened, and she was supposed to... what? She didn't know how to live a normal, carefree life. Her childhood in Bevelle had been about the closest she had ever had to that, and even that time had been filled with sadness and worry, knowing her father would die facing Sin, and she would be alone. And then she had chosen that path for herself. It had seemed right. She knew what she was doing, where she was going. And now, she knew nothing.

Oh, she was glad she had lived. The feeling was overwhelming – she had not expected to see this day, and yet here she was, sitting here. But now, she had her whole life ahead of her – years and years left to live. And she had no idea what to do with them.

"It... would be so much easier... if you were here." she murmured to herself. "You'd know what to do. You were always talking about what we could do, after we defeated Sin. I never thought I would have the chance, and now that I have... you're not here to do all those things with me. It was you who would never have the chance... not me. Our fates were reversed all along, and we never knew it... until the end." she sobbed, pressing her hands harder over her face. "What do I do, Tidus?" she whispered. "You were always the one with the ideas, the plans... tell me, what should I do?"

And then, she could almost see him, standing before her in her mind's eye, arms crossed and shaking his head as if he thought her question was stupid. _"Just be yourself, Yuna." _he seemed to say. _"Live your life for you. Do whatever you want."_

But... what _did _she want? The Tidus in her head didn't answer. Yuna took a deep breath, wiping her eyes. She supposed she'd have to find the answer to that herself.

What had he said, back in the Macalania Woods, that time she almost gave up her pilgrimage? He had suggested lots of things. She strained her memory. Well, going to Zanarkand had been top of the list. She supposed that was out now... his Zanarkand had only been a dream. Having a party, that had been the other thing. Well, they could do that. She certainly liked the idea of a party. It would be good to kick back and enjoy herself for once. Maybe Rikku and Uncle Cid could bring some of their Al Bhed friends? They seemed like they'd know how to have a good party. An image of Kimahri suddenly floated through her mind – he had a party blower in his mouth and a pointy party hat over where his horn should be. She gave a shout of laughter. Now that would be a sight!

Blitzball. That had come next. He had said that his Zanarkand Abes would play. Well, she couldn't see that... but she could certainly go and see Blitzball whenever she pleased now. Maybe she could even learn to play it herself? Maybe, if she went back to Besaid, Wakka could teach her how to hold her breath for the crazy times Blitzball players did. She smiled. That would be fun.

And then... he had talked about sitting on the beach, watching the sunrise. He had talked about it in such detail. _"It's really... pretty." _He had said. _"I know you'd like it." _And then... they had...

Yuna smiled to herself at the memory in spite of the tears running down her cheeks. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to go? It wasn't fair!

She shook herself. He wouldn't want her to cry. He had tried so hard to find a way to make sure she wouldn't die fighting Sin. He had wanted her to live. He had wanted her to be happy. Yuna stood up suddenly, wiping her face on her sleeve and taking several deep breaths to steady herself before marching to the door. Kimahri looked down at her as she opened it, a questioning look in his eyes.

"Kimahri," she said, looking up at the tall Ronso. "Where is everyone?"

He pointed across to the other locker room door. Yuna nodded, striding over and opening it.

They all looked up at her as she entered, looks of concern and understanding on their faces. Lulu, Wakka, Rikku... her dear friends. Only Tidus and Sir Auron were missing. Kimahri squeezed himself into the room behind her and went over to join them.

"... Yunie?" asked Rikku quietly. "Are you okay?"

Yuna said nothing, but instead walked over to her cousin and gathered her into a hug. Rikku blinked in surprise a few times before clutching Yuna back tightly. "I want... to have a party." Yuna murmured over Rikku's shoulder.

"A party?" Lulu repeated in confusion. Evidently, this was not what they had expected her to say. Yuna released Rikku and looked over at the woman who had been like an older sister to her.

"Yes. A... a big party. I want it to last all night! With lots of people, and loud music, and brightly coloured lights... and party hats!" she exclaimed. Wakka blinked.

"Weeell... I guess we could do that," he said, reaching a hand up and rubbing the back of his head. "It's been a long time since we've had some fun... it would do us good, ya?"

Yuna smiled. "And then... I want to sit on the beach. And watch the sunrise."

Wakka walked over and ruffled her hair affectionately. "Whatever you want, Yuna."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Rikku yelled, practically bouncing off the walls. "I'll get my friends to help! We have some cool machina that can play music really loud, and we can rig up lots of lights, and then we can sing and dance and – oh! CAKE! We'll need a big cake. All parties need cake! And -"

Yuna laughed as Rikku continued, excitedly listing all the things they'd need for their big party. Maybe she didn't know what she was going to do with her life. Maybe she didn't have to know right now. For now, she'd just enjoy the company of her friends, and take each day as it came. What did Tidus call it...? 'Winging' it...?

Well, she thought with a smile, I guess I'll just have to wing it, then. And try to find a way to get a party hat on Kimahri while I'm at it!

**End**

I always thought that Yuna might end up feeling confused and lost after she ended up not dying fighting Sin. She probably had a lot to think about. This could be considered a companion fic to my X-2 story, "Freedom", where Yuna reflects on how much her life has changed in two years.

Also, I can't remember if Tidus ever used the phrase "Winging it", but I _think_ he did. If not, it sounds like something he would say, anyway. :)

Epic win for Kimahri in a party hat! :P


End file.
